it is not easy

i cant always stick to the present, i have to think what's best for me and what to do to have a good and healthy life. i cant pretend that i am fine. i have to feel fine to tell everyone that i am fine and i am normal. usually i have feelings. well right now i feel nothing. its abnormal. so i guess i cant have a regular life now. i have to do what i think is right. what i think is right at this very moment is to leave everything i had behind and start taking baby steps to strive for the best, i an sorry.